another moral hangover. fuck.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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