Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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