The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
