I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If its not for food we ain't going out.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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