Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
