Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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