If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
