I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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