I smell stomach acid.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Come on in and take your pants off
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