At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
