so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
