There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
