My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
