Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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