omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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