My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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