We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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