the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
no, he came in my armpit
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we made out on top of his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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