What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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