My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
