I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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