I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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