the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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