Already got asked if we're dating
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
