At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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