Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
