He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
