I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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