To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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