he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
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I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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