Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You dont lie about slip and slides
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
