She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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