Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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