u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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