I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
