you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
