just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
