and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
