My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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