Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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