No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was not drunk enough for that final.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
