the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize