Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize