Whod you bang
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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