Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
