I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
