Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize