The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
