I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's just like the Real World with babies
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It was like getting head from an anaconda
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I will pee on everything he values.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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