He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
