you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize