I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
