its not stalking. its research.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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