My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
